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Spanking for Attitude Adjustment

This blog entry is actually inspired by the title of one of Dana’s clips that she did with her bottom’s bottom. You can click on the picture link or see  it here: http://clips4sale.com/studio/50197/100-Strokes-Attitude-Adjustment-mov#8322541attitude

I have yet to see the clip but I sure understand the premise. If the title is accurate, it would appear that he is receiving 100 strokes with a paddle for having some sort of poor attitude. Situations like this always get me thinking. I have my fair share of poor attitudes – which usually translates into overall bad moods, inappropriate behavior, mini (and not-so-mini) tantrums, talking back, not talking at all, pouting, crying, withdrawing, whining… well certainly by now you must get the idea. Now it is very rarely the case that I behave this way because I’m purposefully trying to elicit a spanking, and certainly not because I want to annoy the hell out of my Top or upset her. I usually behave this way really because it is a fundamental component of my personality and it is a self-fulfilling need that allows me to engage that role I so easily adapt to – the temperamental child.

I don’t make a conscious effort to display these behaviors but at the same time is not typical for me to work incredibly hard to try to avoid them. Because the truth of the matter is that I don’t really want to be an adult. And if I am in a situation where a Top has the fortitude to deal with this behavior, I will make no effort to act “grown up” unless of course we are in a situation where it is necessary and appropriate. Otherwise I take liberties to behave immaturely – which sometimes quite clearly means naughty behavior, but other times I can just as easily (and sometimes more so) slip into “sweet little girl” mode. When this ensues, the thought of being bad does not even occur to me. If it happens, it happens – but usually not because I am wishing it to.

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I don’t pick and choose times when I feel like being a “good girl” or a “bad girl.” This is part of what makes age play so real to me, because ironically – it is not so much “play,” as much as it is a state of genuine being. It is not just good genetics and pigtails that make me appear much younger than I am, it is also the attitude that I outwardly display, which is certainly not one of a competent, confident adult (most of the time). This is not necessarily always a good thing, however – not in the “vanilla” world, where you are just as easily exploitable as in this one.

I don’t get taken seriously most of the time, people treat me like a kid, it makes it difficult for me to say no to people, etc. Because I don’t feel like an adult in my mind and my face often lends support to this belief –  I have ended up in some bad situations. It is a goal for me find a way to achieve some kind of balance so that I can fulfill my need of feeling like a child with the right people, and not compromise that or feel like I am compromising it when I need to act like and portray myself as a capable adult woman.

Even the word “woman” makes me cringe and I almost exclusively always refer to myself as “girl.” This is something that I have to constantly remind myself of so that I don’t get so angry and hostile when people treat me the way they perceive me because I am allowing them to. Most people don’t deserve the privilege and I am going to learn to discern who does and who does not… for the benefits of everyone.

And going back to the topic of spanking as an attitude adjustment, I would just like to point out that it is something that works for me. I have found with Dana that it doesn’t really get to that point. I regress and act like a child and not always in the good way. I have tantrums and act less than appropriately and almost always try to get my way when my way happens to conflicts with hers. But when this happens, she has the remarkable ability to embody this maternal kind of authority that is firm in its approach but gentle in its nature. A warning, a conversation, compassion, understanding, and Dana’s having a very high tolerance for provocation more often than not ends up helping me adjust my attitude without punishment or the threat of punishment. 

I do not feel unsatisfied with the process or the result, even though in retrospect I sometimes feel that the behavior warrants a spanking. And not a big production kind of spanking, I certainly do not need 100 strokes with a wooden paddle to get me to stop pouting or complaining or whining or resisting or whatever it is I’m doing that I should not be doing. A few humiliating swats with the palm of the hand, even over jeans, would probably be enough to do the trick in a situation where my behavior was unruly and needed immediate correction. But so far this has not happened.

The only time Dana punished me in a non-formal, somewhat spontaneous fashion for a poor attitude was when I was literally harassing her to give me information she was unwilling to share with me. After explaining to me her reasons over and over (and also, over) for not wanting to tell me, which was mostly about my protection, and after warning me that I should stop because there was nothing I could do to get her to change her mind – she eventually took me over her knee and gave me a decent dose of a hairbrush. Although she wasn’t particularly harsh, she made it clear to me that she was unhappy with my behavior. I tried to get out of the spanking but I couldn’t. I eventually relented and after a few brief minutes I ended up cuddled up in her arms – meek and obedient and attitude officially adjusted. It doesn’t take much for me. 

My rapport with Dana is so strong that I almost never have to be punished for acting out because she has this ability to make me stop, even when the urge is persistent. I am very grateful and somewhat shocked that I am able to respond to her this way – as many Tops can attest to the fact that it takes a lot to  get my little girl impulses under control. 

Thankfully, Dana isn’t as easily irritated by these behaviors and to some degree I think she sort of appreciates them.  It’s this very reason that she understands this without me having to jump up and down and scream and cry to communicate it that seems to be what makes me lose interest in resisting and acting out (MOST of the time). Hey, nobody’s perfect!

Although sometimes in my head, and after the fact, I do wish sometimes that I did get a spanking for it – it very, very rarely occurs to me in the moment. But in thinking about it later I desire this because it completes something in my fantasy. Don’t misinterpret this as being ungrateful or an expression of being unfulfilled, because neither are even a little applicable. It’s only because I have always had such a strong connection to spanking and regressive behaviors that it crosses my mind after the experience. And while it is and always will be a wish whenever it chooses to occur to me, it is equally as important to learn how to respond (even in my little state) to direction and discipline that is gentle (without inundating empathy), necessary, non-punishing and guiding. I very much value that I am able to learn these things from her and actual apply them to my everyday “vanilla” life. That’s that!

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